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A lesson [to myself] in detachment.

Today I apologized to someone for something (or a lot of somethings) I didn’t even know I was sorry about. No, correction: I think, deep down, I knew I was sorry, I just didn’t feel like I had anything to apologize for, especially if (and isn’t this always the kicker?) I knew what that person had done to me and I knew they sure as hell weren’t ever going to apologize for it!

What an interesting aspect of human psychology — or perhaps just my psychology? We’re willing to admit to ourselves when we’re in the wrong, but not aloud unless we know other party will feel remorseful, as well.

And so, today’s lesson to myself was simply the reminder that I am not responsible for anyone’s actions but my own. I am only responsible for how I behave in any given situation, and how having behaved differently could have produced a more positive outcome, if not from the entire debacle, definitely in my life-education. Plus, any slight you may perceive is just your side of the coin, and as the saying goes, “It takes two to tango,” which means you probably’ve done as much harm as was done to you. Now flip it and think… if you could offer someone one little bit of healing or closure, why in the world not give it?

I think I need constant reminders that anything I perceive as being done to me is simply being done by someone, and their behavior might have repercussions on my life, but ultimately doesn’t have to affect my soul (yeah, I busted out the s-word). How someone feels at the end of the day or at the end of their life for the compendium of their actions really has nothing at all to do with me, now does it?

But in the interest of full disclosure, perhaps it’s a bit selfish to apologize, in a sense, as well: the ghosts of the past are much easier to let go of when your mind’s at peace — and the more of my past crimes I evaluate, analyze, come to terms with, feel remorseful for, and eventually apologize for, the easier each subsequent apology/healing gets. Kind of like a muscle, I guess. And so, here I flex again:

I’m sorry.

April 14, 2011   7 Comments

Starbucks and World AIDS Day

Every year, in support of World AIDS Day, Starbucks decides to do something nice:

“Join us in support of World AIDS Day. On December 1, 2009 we’re contributing 5¢ U.S. to the Global Fund to help fight AIDS in Africa for every hand-crafted beverage sold!”

And every year, I click on the little Facebook button saying I’m attending the event. And EVERY YEAR, that takes me to the page where people have left comments.

Now, I’m curious: do people really think that Starbucks gives a crap about destructive comments? Comments like: “Starbucks doesn’t send coffee to our troops, so I’m never buying coffee from them again,” or “Cheap bastards, five cents? Capitalist pigs!” I usually silently laugh, but this time it just pissed me off.

Would you like a list of all American and international companies who are “not supporting the war and not sending products to our troops”? WOULDYA? Because believe you me, it’s more than 98% of all domestic companies.

Could you also explain to me why it’s their obligation to give ANYTHING AT ALL? Most companies do not contribute in any way, so anything that Starbucks does is POSITIVE. (No AIDS pun intended.) Why do people love to complain so freaking much? Is this not the season of giving thanks? Give thanks that someone, no matter how much or little, cares about things going on in the world to say, hey, let’s pick a day and donate a little money to a cause. I am in now way affiliated with Starbucks – however, I appreciate a good deed from wherever it may come, big or small.

*Steps off soapbox*

November 25, 2009   4 Comments

Double-take

I am currently addicted to Mad Men. I wish I could pinpoint exactly what it is that captivates me so. I am torn between love and hate for Don Draper, and love and hate for the era and the machismo.

A couple of days ago, I was watching a recent-ish episode (Season 3, Episode 2, Love Among the Ruins) when a scene made me do a double take. It was like I’d seen it before, the players in the same place, the same angle, but different. It took me a few minutes to figure it out. It’s this scene…

Does that look familiar? It may only look familiar to Fere and Caroline, my sisters in cheesy. I found the scene that it is practically a replica of, angles and all, among the movies I have stored on my computer…

It’s the scene from Legally Blonde where the admissions board is reviewing Elle’s admissions essay.

Thus, I have determined that Kevin Cooney made a pact with the devil so he will never age and he is also the type of actor that will only let you film him from “his good angle” because the scenes are way too eerily alike.

Or it could just be a funny little coincidence. Potatoe potatoh.

October 29, 2009   4 Comments

The non-Mexican Mexican, apparently.

Our car… is about to RIP. In someone else‘s garage.

We have a “fancy” (lolz) 1992 V6 Toyota Camry. Recently George has, just to give you an idea of all it has needed, done the following:

  • replaced the air filter;

  • changed the oil and oil filter;
  • cleaned the throttle plate and throttle body;
  • added fuel injector cleaner to the gas tank;
  • replaced the air hose bellows between the air filter and the throttle, since it had a tear;
  • replaced the accessory belt twice, along with the tensioner belt;
  • has replaced all six spark plugs with titanium plugs, and all six plug wires;
  • replaced the distributor rotor and cap;
  • cleaned battery leads;
  • replaced the original fuel filter (from 1992!).

Additionally, the handle on the passenger door needs to be replaced, the motor for the back passenger side window broke so now that window is being held up by suction cups, and the AC died. Yes, when it’s summer in Florida and it’s been around 110ºF (Real Feel).

We have just decided to sell it as is, and take whatever we’re offered for it before it completely dies and we’re screwed. Obviously, we had to take it in to get the A/C system charged with refrigerant, because who in their right mind would purchase a car in the summer without cool A/C?

When I was finished with my translation today, I drove it to our mechanic to get that done. I dropped the car off, gave him the keys and he looks at me scoldingly.

“I thought you couldn’t drive yet.”

“Well, I don’t have a license here yet, but I have my Mexican one.”

He does a double take. “You’re Mexican?! You don’t look Mexican!!!”

I stood there kind of stunned and amused for a minute, not quite knowing how to respond to that. “Well, I am!”

“Your English is so good, though!”

“Thank you? I guess I learned it well?”

This exchange made my day. He wasn’t trying to be rude or mean. He wasn’t like, “Ew, Mexican.” He was just genuinely shocked… and moreso because I don’t “talk or look like one”… I just wonder if people realize, when they say something like this, that to most people it’d be kind of insulting. I’ve gotten so used to people being outright rude here that things like this just make me giggle.

Anyway… anyone want to buy a Camry? I hear it’s in excellent condition…

June 24, 2009   3 Comments

Clean “freak”

This morning I started cleaning at 8am. Nothing spectacular about that, right? Except for the fact that I have managed to drink eight glasses of water already (in 5.5 hrs) and seriously done cardio about three times so far. Like, to the point where I end up all sweaty and red faced and having to slow down my breathing.

George and I finally got to working on some things around the house this weekend which made me catch the cleaning bug much more seriously than usual. While I tend to kind of clean obsessively, this is far beyond my usual crazy-cleaning. I’m attacking every single closet, cabinet, surface, corner, window in my path. I even purged the laundry room of… way too much crap.

I joke about it, but I honestly do wonder if I’m a little OCD. The pleasure I am getting from seeing each surface mirror back my hysterically happy-that-it’s-clean smile is too great to be normal. I’m on cloud fifty.

Snack time’s over. Time to get back to it!

April 27, 2009   6 Comments

Out with the old, in with the fresita!

“What do I write as my first post? I feel like it should be something monumental,” I whine, as George laughs at me.

After more than ten years of blogging, it appears I have a case of Internet stage fright. It just feels like the fact that this is an actual domain means that I have to write something witty and insightful because I can’t hide behind the iron shield of “oh, it’s just LiveJournal, what did you expect?” as I actually am paying for this space. It’s OK to be a waste of LJ space, but a domainy one? Notsomuch.

I’ll try!

Anyway… welcome to fresita.org. Home of… fresitas. The name for this domain clearly came from my LiveJournal account, but that name originally came from… well, so many origins. Maybe my mom’s love for strawberries while she was pregnant with me. Or the fact that she’s from the land of strawberries in Mexico, Irapuato. Or the fact that I was born with a birthmark shaped like a strawberry. Or that random people in random countries have always come up with that nickname for me due to my love for strawberries and the color pink. ANYTHING PINK. Maybe it’s due to being tagged as a fresa the second I stepped foot into a Mexican school because my accent was “different” from everyone else’s.

Or, you know, all of the above. So, like, welcome. And stuff.

April 17, 2009   15 Comments