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A couple of years ago, I went to the eye doctor in Cancun for a much overdo update to my prescription. The optometrist didn’t perform a whole lot of tests, and declared that it was obvious that my left eye was overcompensating for my right eye’s blindness. Right eye -0.50, left eye +0.25. I spent way too much money on normal glasses and sunglasses, but hey, eyes are worth it, right?

Wrong.

Over the past two years, I’ve had a hard time forcing myself to use them. They made me see clearly, but t-i-n-y, very bizarre. They also gave me horrible headaches, which I attributed to the time spent without them, not with them, on. But something was kind of off. Wearing them made me get migraines, nausea, etc. I noticed little things, the way my eyes focused, the way they could focus on what I chose and bokeh the rest of what I was looking at, and a few other things. Turns out, there was something definitely wrong.

My doctor in Cancun could not have been more off. The doctor here (and his staff) performed exhaustive tests, things to test my focus that no other doctor had ever bothered doing, and we discovered something I should have known: my right eye is lazy!

“Haven’t you ever noticed your eyes doing weird things?”

“Well, I mean, I can cross one eye and then make the other once dance around…”

“Um… show me…”

Yeah, apparently, that’s not normal.

Long story short, I’m wearing right eye +0.50, left +1.00, a.k.a. totally blind as a bat which is normal for my old age (sniffle). I tried super thin contacts, they were still too thick for my eyes and I would actually blink them out. I’m the optometrist’s version of the Princess and the Pea. Fortunately for me, they just came out with ultra-thin contacts which my optometrist/ophthalmologist got shipped today, which he gave me at my appointment. I can’t feel them, I can focus, I can see clearly (♪ now, the raiiiin is goooone ♪), no headaches, no desire to rip my eyes out or sever my head. First time in AGES! I’m happy.

And the moral of the story is, if you have headaches and your glasses bug you, get it taken care of PRONTO… don’t be afraid of getting grandma glasses. Your LIFE will thank you.

On Google Chat with George:

Georgie Porgie: Rosemary from Brevard Eye Center just called me, looking for you.

Georgie Porgie: I said, “This is her husband George”

Me: OK? I thought my appoinment was on Monday?

Georgie Porgie: She said, “Oh, hello Mr. de la Vega. I was just calling to confirm her appointment on Monday at 3:45.”

Georgie Porgie: MISTER DE LA VEGA

Georgie Porgie: yesssssssssss

hahahahahahaha Is he the only man in the world who would get excited over something like this? Hilarious. Also hilarious is that if that is the name on my Eye Dr. records, they assume if I am married, it must be my husband’s name. Not all women take the guy’s name! (For the record, I did.)

All cats have their “thing”, and ever since we got Sparty, he’s had his particular quirk. Whenever we change the kitty litter and spread Arm & Hammer on it (because we like kitty poop to smell like baking soda and artificial flowers, duh), he ROLLS AROUND IN IT. Now, it’s not like he’s totally gross; he won’t do this in dirty litter. I tried describing what he does to other people, the entire body FLOP and roll around, but it’s so much better when you see it… and so, I present you with this video. Enjoy!

Sparty is disgusting from Lorenia on Vimeo.