Eulogy of the “adopted” nephew
Left to right: Mamina (my great grandma), abuelo Sergio, me on his lap, my mom
A couple of days ago, my grandpa died, my abuelo Sergio. I have been thinking what I could possibly say or write about him. Abuelo Sergio was the most stable male presence in my life. Seeing him and his wife always made me think that marriage can work, that you can be sickeningly in love with someone after 20-odd and 30-odd years. He represented everything that was good, manly, and loving in my eyes. He always smelled of shaving cream and tobacco, he always had a poem to make you laugh, a word to heal a wound. He is and always will be one of my favorite people in this world, closer to my heart than I could possibly express.
I wasn’t able to attend his funeral or be there with my family. I wish I could have been there – but I was through their many texts and emails and calls. And since I wasn’t able to be there, my mom shared something with me that brought tears to my eyes, to the eyes of those who were there and of those who have since read it as well. They are the words of someone who was a friend and became family. This is my translation.
It would be inappropriate to say “good afternoon” on this occasion, so I will simply say hello to you all on this, the afternoon on which we accompany Sergio and his family. I have the pleasure of already knowing most of you; however, out of respect for those of you I have not met, my name is Jemil. I am a friend, co-worker and adopted nephew of Silvina and Sergio. I would like to share with you my personal experience with this great man, as I’m sure that many of us have had feelings and impressions similar to those I am about to describe to you.
I met Sergio almost ten years ago, and I must admit that we both began with a left foot. Somehow, we both clashed during our first impression and our initial relationship was more diplomatic than sincere. It wasn’t until a little over three years ago when we had the chance to spend time together and get to know each other better. This time, the relationship was so positive that he adopted me as a nephew and I adopted him as my uncle. Today I have the good fortune and the sorrow of saying goodbye to him. Sorrow is what my selfish side feels- I wish he could be with us much longer; however, my human side feels lucky, as it understands that this great person was prisoner in a body that was sick and weary and needed to be free.
A man of more than a thousand words, wise counselor and friend, passionate about his tastes and pleasures, he was an encyclopedia of poetry and an atlas of our Mexico. It was a pleasure to sit next to him and hear his describe the destinations and roads he traveled for so many years. He painted an image with such vivid details that I could swear I visited some of those places. There was never a conversation that didn’t make its way, however briefly, to the subject of gastronomy; I have never eaten a panucho, but [thanks to him] I know what one tastes like! And, as always, after food, a good conversation about politics was never too far away. He had a special humorous view and precision on the subject; many times I thought he should have been a political analyst. But his heart… his heart was in bullfighting, an authentic connoisseur of the world of tauromachy. We he spoke of bulls and bullfighters, plazas and Spanish-style bullfighting, of those he once witnessed, he would express a passion that I have not often seen.
The most admirable thing about my uncle Sergio was how he lived his life, because there is no one who shows more love for life than he who uses it and takes full advantage of it to love, learn and share. With this exemplary will he fought against his cancer for over eight years. Beyond the pain and discomfort, he would ferociously go to work and it was impossible to dissuade him.
On this day, after so much time, his body gave up, tired after such a long voyage, and decided that it was time to turn the light off and go to sleep in order to be able to retake that path that we all will one day follow. But it is only his body that we will no longer see among us, because a person like him leaves a mark on everyone of us lucky enough to cross his path. His memory and the many things we learned from him will live forever in our minds and hearts.
Sergio, rest in peace. Here you lived a great life, and where you are going, an even better one is waiting.”
Te quiero, pinche puto pendejo. A huevooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
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Versión en español:
“Decir buenas tardes sería inapropiado para esta ocasión, por lo que los saludo a todos en esta tarde en la que acompañamos a Don Sergio y a su familia. Tengo el gusto de conocer a la mayoría de ustedes. De cualquier forma, por respeto a aquellos a quienes no he tenido el placer de conocer, mi nombre es Jemil, soy amigo, compañero de trabajo y sobrino adoptado de Silvina y Sergio. Quiero compartir con ustedes mi experiencia personal en cuanto a este gran hombre, estoy muy seguro que muchos de nosotros tenemos sentimientos e impresiones muy similares a las que describo en las siguientes líneas.
Conocí a Don Sergio hace casi diez años y tengo que decir que el inicio fue con el pie izquierdo para ambos, de alguna manera los dos chocamos en impresión y llevamos una relación más diplomática que sincera. Fue hasta hace poco mas de 3 años que tuvimos la oportunidad de convivir y conocernos mejor, esta vez todo fue tan positivo que él me adoptó como sobrino y yo a él como tío.
Hoy tengo la fortuna y la desdicha de despedirlo, desdicha es lo que siente mi lado egoísta, pues desearía que siguiera con nosotros por mucho tiempo más, sin embargo, mi lado humano se siente afortunado, pues comprende que esta gran persona estaba aprisionada en un cuerpo enfermo y cansado del cuál necesitaba liberarse.
Un hombre de más de mil palabras, sabio consejero y amigo, apasionado en sus gustos y placeres, fue una enciclopedia de poesía y un atlas de nuestro México, era un placer sentarte a su lado y escucharle describir los parajes y caminos por los que durante muchos años anduvo, su pintura era a tal detalle que podría asegurar que llegue a conocer algunos de aquellos lugares. No había plática que no se estacionara un momento en la gastronomía, nunca he comido un panucho, pero ya sé que sabor tienen; Y como todo, después de la comida no puede faltar una buena discusión sobre política, tenía un toque y tino para el tema, que varias veces pensé que hubiera sido bueno que trabajara como analista político. Pero su corazón… su corazón estaba realmente en la fiesta brava, un auténtico conocedor del ámbito taurino. Cuando hablaba sobre los toros y toreros, de las plazas y las corridas, de aquellas faenas que alguna vez presenció, expresaba una pasión que en pocas personas he visto.
De cualquier forma, lo más admirable de mi tío Sergio fue su apego a la vida, porque no hay persona que demuestre su amor a ella más que quien la utiliza y la aprovecha para amar, aprender y compartir, con estas ganas ejemplares le ganó más de 8 años de batallas al cáncer. Por encima de dolores y malestares, se aferraba a venir a su lugar de trabajo y era, o fue imposible disuadirlo.
En este día, después de tanto tiempo, su cuerpo se rindió… cansado por el largo viaje, decidió que era hora de apagar la luz e ir a dormir, para poder así tomar ese nuevo sendero que todos algún día habremos de seguir. Pero es solo su cuerpo el que ya no veremos más entre nosotros, porque una persona como él deja huella en todos quienes tuvimos la fortuna de cruzarnos en su camino. Su recuerdo y las muchas cosas que aprendimos de el vivirán por siempre en nuestras mentes y corazones.
Sergio, descansa en paz, aquí viviste una gran vida y donde vas, te espera una mejor.”
A touching and fitting eulogy for a bull of a man. I can’t wait to meet him in the next life.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m sure he is by your side, guiding you and providing spiritual support, much as he did when he was in the physical world. I have found that sometimes when the spirit is freed from the body, it has even greater power to help the loved ones still living.
May we all take his example to heart to live life to the fullest every day. I will be offering my prayers for the progress of his soul, and for the comfort and peace of all who love him.
Thank you, Atoosa. I think that for most of us in my family it has been a sad time for the part of us that is “humanly” attached to him, but that we are happy because we know that he is now where there is no suffering, and how could we not want that for him? I did have to come to terms with the fact that it’s OK to miss him (I was feeling conflicted, feeling selfish, etc.), though.
Hola Yinski, no sabia que tenias este sitio, ya ves que a mi no se me da mucho lo del ciberespacio, jejeje…. que bellas palabras y comentarios de mi papi haces… y muy merecidas… yo tambien lo extrano, y un chiiiiiiingo….
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