Donde pongo el ojo pongo la bala.
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Blind as a bat

I love my yearly visit to Brevard Eye Center. This time, I went knowing full well that I have finally reached the age when comfort trumps vanity and I am giving up on contact lenses and on ONLY wearing glasses when I’m home or in a dark movie theater. Bring on the four eyes!!!

The only thing I absolutely hate is the pupil dilation. I never knew why it bothered me so much (and I mean, to the point where I alternate between feeling high and wanting to vomit, all while feeling like I’m underwater and half blind) until this last visit. And here’s why:

I have artificial 20/20 vision. What does that even mean? In the words of Dr. H, “You basically have Superman muscles in your eyes. They are overcompensating so that you have really amazing vision, when your vision actually kind of sucks.” OK, he didn’t say the sucks part. That’s all me. But my vision does suck… a lot. A lot more than I’m prepared to admit.

So when my pupils are dilated and those muscles are relaxed and my eyes can’t force themselves to focus, my brain starts freaking out. FREAKING OUT. And that, apparently, is what my REAL vision is like. I can barely see a hand in front of my face. Awesome. So I picked out some frames (not that day, two days later, I couldn’t even see well enough that day to grab the frames I had already CHOSEN).

I feel old!

March 26, 2011   7 Comments

tl;dr about how I love Brevard Eye Center

A couple of years ago, I went to the eye doctor in Cancun for a much overdo update to my prescription. The optometrist didn’t perform a whole lot of tests, and declared that it was obvious that my left eye was overcompensating for my right eye’s blindness. Right eye -0.50, left eye +0.25. I spent way too much money on normal glasses and sunglasses, but hey, eyes are worth it, right?


Over the past two years, I’ve had a hard time forcing myself to use them. They made me see clearly, but t-i-n-y, very bizarre. They also gave me horrible headaches, which I attributed to the time spent without them, not with them, on. But something was kind of off. Wearing them made me get migraines, nausea, etc. I noticed little things, the way my eyes focused, the way they could focus on what I chose and bokeh the rest of what I was looking at, and a few other things. Turns out, there was something definitely wrong.

My doctor in Cancun could not have been more off. The doctor here (and his staff) performed exhaustive tests, things to test my focus that no other doctor had ever bothered doing, and we discovered something I should have known: my right eye is lazy!

“Haven’t you ever noticed your eyes doing weird things?”

“Well, I mean, I can cross one eye and then make the other once dance around…”

“Um… show me…”

Yeah, apparently, that’s not normal.

Long story short, I’m wearing right eye +0.50, left +1.00, a.k.a. totally blind as a bat which is normal for my old age (sniffle). I tried super thin contacts, they were still too thick for my eyes and I would actually blink them out. I’m the optometrist’s version of the Princess and the Pea. Fortunately for me, they just came out with ultra-thin contacts which my optometrist/ophthalmologist got shipped today, which he gave me at my appointment. I can’t feel them, I can focus, I can see clearly (♪ now, the raiiiin is goooone ♪), no headaches, no desire to rip my eyes out or sever my head. First time in AGES! I’m happy.

And the moral of the story is, if you have headaches and your glasses bug you, get it taken care of PRONTO… don’t be afraid of getting grandma glasses. Your LIFE will thank you.

February 22, 2010   3 Comments